As blameless world pulsing alive with light and color to the rhythm of your breath, and you yourself - all this and more is not separated from the things;there is a cloud on the dizzying height in the middle of the sky - it's you, and the very azure sky - do you like the color red geraniums on the windowsill, and the leaves, and each fibril curtains. And there she was standing in front of you footstool - what it is?You are already unable to determine the outlines of these words, the material, the picture that vibrates, swaying in the air, but you do not care, you are happy and well. Huxley in his book "The Gates of perception" perfectly described the condition that exists when under the influence of LSD:Symbols value loses meaning, subjects a joy is one of its futility, its otsutstviemprisutstviem. What bliss. But suddenly, that you were out of conventional thinking about things and out of touch with them, plunges you into the deepest, unbearable anguish;and whatever else kakoeto moment ago was bliss, suddenly becomes a hell. Only around one monstrous forms, no meaning, no purpose. And it's disgusting cloud and yarostnosinee sky, and obscenely waving fabric curtains, and this bench, which does not know what it is, you choke, cause you immense horror.At the clinic I am surrounded monahinyamiinostrankami. One of them, going into the house, said: "All write, write. So much philosophy. " Reread written, and I feel ashamed of any "philosophical" level can there be? Other every night brings me a glass of Lourdes water and holds it with the words: "It is necessary!" The other day she told me:"His pleura you clear, you now need to purify the heart." I was scared, I thought that is coming, kakieto injection. "Dada, you have a very, very congested heart." - "When are we going to clean it?" - "Anytime you can be at any time." The misunderstanding was soon dissipated, I realized that she advised me to confess.Wherefore, except glass of Lourdes water it now sends me daily svyaschennikaamerikantsa very similar to De blackjack. Coming in, he said: "How are you feeling? Pleurisy? Vile thing. "At five in the morning - still dark - there is a sister of Burgundy in black, like the wings of a bat horned cap, while holding in his teeth and a rubber tube with a big box of tubes. This vampire from the banks of the Danube says, "will you give me some of his blood, Signor Fellini?" And my sister Raffaella - Colombian. "As Basil samosustvie today? Luce?"- She says. Then, becoming a center of the room, said: "We met Sonsa and the moon, the moon and Sons said: Are not you sovesno, Bolsena are you, and you are not allowed to walk nosyu." Because she likes to joke, she repeats it every morning. At nine, bring a sleeping pill sister Edmea.She's coming, and I see it on the upper lip dark fluff. Sister Edmea from Faenza, she looks like a "usachek" of the church in my Paolotti Rimini. Film Vidocq
. I often have to bother her at night. Sister Edmea immediately suitable and carefully inquired: "Maybe a little more broth chamomile?"She said that her father and sixty had mistresses: hides used to his mistress in a chicken coop, then is her.