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Fairy tales of the Viennese wood

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I'll take the role. In desperation, I was ready to weep. Hotel "Castilla". I knock on the door, I enter. Cocteau smokes opium, looking at me. It seems as depressed as I am. I close the door and stood motionless. I am waiting for the worst. Cocteau hangs up. He is in a bathrobe.His hands dropped lifelessly along the body, he repeats: - An accident ... He looks like a child's fear of punishment. - Accident ... I love you. This man, whom I admire, gave me what I wanted more than anything else. And nothing is asked in return. I do not love him. How can he love me ... I ... this is impossible.- Jean, you see how I live. Help me. Only you can save me ... - I love you - I tell him. I lied. Yes, I lied. Explain that it is difficult to lie. I felt for Jean Cocteau admiration, great respect, that is certainly not in keeping with his feelings. And I was flattered.In addition, the idea that a tiny creature as I was, can save a great poet, inspired me. It was at that moment I was going to be by someone like Lorenzachcho. I decided to give happiness, "challenge Unfortunately, companion of poets," as Cocteau wrote to me afterwards.Of course, we should not forget careerist, ready to do anything to achieve their goal. I did not recognize myself in it, trying to see in their behavior only that I could decorate. I would like to behave in this lie as if it were true. I promised myself that I would try to be flawless, and the way I imagined Cocteau.I wanted to be an actor? Well, I'm going to play the role of a person to whom I admire, I was happy. I have not played that role for a long time. Anyone who approached Jean, could not love him, Here's another similarity with Lorenzachcho that fall within their own networks and can not retreat. Attention! Lorenzachcho small format.From the outset, I swore to wean him off the drug. Later, however, I often had to help him while smoking. One day he asked me to come to the hotel, "Castilla". - Come with me at noon. When I came, he was sleeping. I called him, began to shake, first gently, then harder. His eyes remained closed.He struggled with himself to get out of the dream state. Finally, his lips moved. At first I could not make out a single word. It was like a long sigh. He wanted a cigarette to wake up, but he did not have the strength to get up, light the lamp, roll balls of opium. He wanted to do it myself. How? I saw him do it, but if I can?I light the oil lamp, a silver needle drop of taking opium, slightly ignited it in the fire, using jade ring trying to make opium shape. Watch the film for six days, seven nights in excellent quality online. Resurgent opium calcined. Gradually, I manage to get the desired conical shape.Then I put the ball in the tube and hold it over the flame. When the ball is attached to the head tube, puncture his silver needle. Jean stretch tube, making sure that opium did not close a tiny hole head. Jean takes a breath and wakes up.